ALABAMA
 At Least We're not Mississippi

 ALASKA
 11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!

ARIZONA
 But It's a Dry Heat

ARKANSAS
 Litterasy Ain't Everthing

CALIFORNIA
As Seen on TV

COLORADO
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

CONNECTICUT
Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character

DELAWARE
We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water

FLORIDA
Ask Us About Our Grandkids

GEORGIA
We Put the "Fun" in Fundamentalist Extremism

HAWAII
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

IDAHO
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

ILLINOIS
Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

INDIANA
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

IOWA
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

KANSAS
First Of The Rectangle States

KENTUCKY
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

LOUISIANA
We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

MAINE
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

MARYLAND
A Thinking Man's Delaware

MASSACHUSETTS
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

MICHIGAN
First Line of Defense From the Canadians

MINNESOTA
10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000 Mosquitoes

MISSISSIPPI
Come Feel Better About Your Own State

MISSOURI
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work

MONTANA
Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, 
and Very little Else

NEBRASKA
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

NEVADA
A great place to INVEST

NEW HAMPSHIRE
Go Away and Leave Us Alone

NEW JERSEY
You Want a ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

NEW MEXICO
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

NEW YORK
You Have the Right to Remain Silent, 
You Have the Right to an Attorney...

NORTH CAROLINA
Tobacco IS a Vegetable

NORTH DAKOTA
We Really are One of the 50 States!

OHIO
We Wish We Were In Michigan

OKLAHOMA
Like the Play, only No Singing

OREGON
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

PENNSYLVANIA
Cook With Coal

RHODE ISLAND
We're Not REALLY An Island

SOUTH CAROLINA
Remember the Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

SOUTH DAKOTA
 Closer Than North Dakota

TENNESSEE
The Educashun State

TEJAS
Si' Hablo Ing'les
(Yes, I speak English)

UTAH
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

VERMONT
Yep

VIRGINIA
Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

WASHINGTON
Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!

WASHINGTON, D.C.
Wanna Be Mayor?

WEST VIRGINA
One Big Happy Family -- Really!

WISCONSIN
Let us cut you some Cheese!

WYOMING
Wynot?